In summation, this year’s been life-changing. But every day is life-changing, so life-changing is a bollocks term. 2009 has been revolutionary – personally. A personal revolution. Yes, that’s it. In December 2008, I was at Twickenham studios undergoing serious mental redevelopment through a deep creative process (more on that in 2010). Since then, 2009 has been about exploring revelations; discovering that I don’t know it all; meeting the strangers of Twitter; coping with epilepsy; prioritizing life over music; writing words, not songs; selling guitars to take up photography; travelling, cooking and reading. All these things have made my 2009, and though I continue to fill life with music, I always feel full of it: like I’ve had enough already, like there’s no need for any more, like it’s all expressionless noise.
But then, I look at some of the CDs I’ve picked up this year and think “That’s completely wrong!” And then I look at some of the reissues and some of the albums I’ve missed and wonder “How can this music possibly be bettered?” It’s not a competition, obviously, but, as I get older, I realize that there’s no ‘next big thing’ coming. Yes, dubstep was everywhere this year – but is that the sound of the ‘underground’? What is the underground, and is it even capable of exisiting? (Not really – technology has completely shattered that nostalgic notion.) The perceived homogenization of music is something that only people of a certain age believe in, but there are still clearly tribes of young people everywhere buying into their own brand of youth culture even though lines are increasingly becoming blurred.
Youth is, indeed, wasted on the young, and as I approach my 35th year, I feel myself purposely distanced from popular counter culture, free to indulge in things I love most and learn about things I knew nothing to little about. Quite where this is all leading is unclear (I know I’m rambling), but I’m glad this blog will host the record of what has been a psychologically frantic year (incidentally, figures for the first 10 months of the blog average out at about 2,000 visitors a month.)
So, 2010, a year where, like all others, anything can and probably will happen. Reading will be a priority for me, and I suspect I’ll be doing less music reviews, purely because I’d like to pay more attention to specific releases and not try to devour everything. During the period I was so completely absorbed trying to create music, it’s apparent I missed plenty of cultural and artistic endeavours that could now mean more to me than anything current. As Gangstarr said, “It’s a daily operation,” so I can’t predict anything and moods, such as they are, mean that anything could change. I mean, 2009 was the year Michael Jackson died whilst an archaic rap-metal song from 1992 took the Christmas number one slot. 2009 was also the year I discovered The Wire – still one of the most intelligent things I’ve ever seen on TV.
And I think that’s where the crux of this little review lies. It’s not about absorbing everything available, it’s about taking a discerning approach to credible arts and cultural outputs that, moreover, do not patronize the viewer / listener.
So, if you’ve been a regular visitor to the site this year – thank you for clicking through. See you in 2010 when I hope I’ll have some more stable news for you. And I don’t mean that in an equine sense.
Best wishes,
Ax